Dandelion love.

2012-01-03T03:55:00.000-08:00

Our past is a good place to go and learn your mistakes from there, but it is never a good place to stay.

~Quoted from one of my church friend.

I find it so true. :)

I am living in the present, but not the past.

Had buried all the bad memories and unhappiness behind me.

Bringing only good memories and happiness along with me to the present and future.

Revelation 21:5 (NIV) :
He who was seated on the throne said, "I am making everything new!"
Then he said, "Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true."

P.S: I am so addicted to this song! My new blog song. keke.

Extracted from I wanna go lyrics by Britney Spears (:

Lately I've been stuck imagining,
What I wanna do and what I really think,
Time to blow out!

2011 memories

2011-12-30T21:23:00.001-08:00

2011 has been a year filled with misery, pain, sadness,stress, happiness, joy, laughter.

I have grown up through experiences, knows what is right , what is wrong.

The weak girl who used to cry alot , learnt how to be stronger when she prays more.

The immature person whose world used to revolves around someone whom she regards the most important in her life, given her all to that person, while getting nothing in return. She was hurt, miserable, forlorn, and darkness was all she could see.

Until a light came , lifted her up when she was at her weakest.

The person who cooped herself up in her room for 3 months plus , waking up early in the morning everyday just to study for her o level subjects. Forced herself not to have any leisure time but only studying, getting her desired results. But didn't got into TP , until she appealed , and now she is in TP, in her desired course and school. :)

Started to reach out to her family members and friends, being baptised with the support of her family members. :)

And at least, by the grace of God, I've ended 2011 well by bringing a lost soul back to the House of God. Drawing me closer to my friend whom I was not close with. :)

2011 was a quite a bad year for me. But I know that God did it to strengthen my faith in Him.

And indeed, I did.

I believe that 2012 will be a better year for everyone for us.

Because the best is yet to come, and I am still anticipating to see Him performing good works in my life, my friends, my family, my church, and my spiritual walk with Him.

Last but not least, happy new 2012 year everyone! God bless you all. :)

Psalm 119:105 (NIV)
"Your word is a lamp to my feet,
and a light for my path."

2011-12-29T00:39:00.000-08:00

Just a very random thought when I looked at my old pictures.

Reminisced how depressed I was with my skin condition, having bad breakouts, suffering from low self-esteem and self-confidence.

Always prayed hard to God, sometimes even cried because I was so depressed.

I was and am a super vain girl, who is very particular of how I look or dress.

But everything just became better when I've gone back to God. Miraculously, my skin condition became better and I just started to feel happier, because of His works in me.

Fast, steady, still, silently.

Then suddenly I was reminded of something.

When something bad happened, the memories will always stay, while the scars will always be there.

So long as you don't agitate the memories, or make it worse, the scars will slowly fade off.

And I know what is the best for me , and always know that God has greater plans for me.

Even when the memories and feelings stay, even when your heart is screaming at you..

Even when I know there is a chance and a choice for me to rewind..

I choose to obey Him, praying that He will take these memories and feelings away from me, so the memories will never be agitated again, and the scars will gradually fade off as time passes..

After all, the memories were never meant to be, and will never meant to be.

Since it was started with a mistake, just let the memories to end it with a mistake too.

I decided to put all my trust and hope in You, even when it is tough.

2011-12-16T18:16:00.001-08:00

A vision.

A bottle, filled with golden coins.

Overflowed with coins, and the coins just kept flowing out from the bottle, non-stop.

Then You spoke to me,

1 Peter 4:19 (NIV)

So then, those who suffer according to God’s will should commit themselves to their faithful Creator and continue to do good.

I will do what I can, and You will do what I can't.

And I shall put all my faith and trust in You

When I do that, all the other things will be added upon to me, and the fruits will be overwhelming till it overflows like how in the vision You've showed me, with lost souls added into Your house.

Men may disappoint us, but You will never disappoint us, for You're a Great God.

Not by strength, not by might, but by Spirit.

2011-10-25T23:38:00.000-07:00

Sometimes God really take His children by surprise with His plans for us.

Initially, I felt that my 18th birthday was the best celebration ever. But now, I realised my 19th birthday celebration is my best out of the best.

I thought that since he had left me, my birthday celebration this year will not be as good as last year. But I was so wrong.

In fact, it was better and more surprising than last year.

Last year, I celebrated my birthday with my clique, him, cellgroup, my BFFs and family. But my nyp poly mates didn't celebrated with me because of some conflicts we had.

However this year , God blessed me so much and placed so many friends in my life to celebate my birthday with me to replace him in my life. :)

My cellgroup, my guild friends, my BFFs, my clique friends, my TP friends, NYP friends, my family ...

19th birthday celebration is a year, which I have learn from my heartbreaking experiences, my mistakes, the things I shouldn't do , and pulled me closer to the people around me, the people whom I have cherish, especially to God.

It's a 19th birthday full of surprises and experiences , something that I didn't experienced for the past 18 years, something new and fresh for me.

It's a new and exciting birthday year for me.

And to think about it, my life started to become better ever since I've joined church and knowing God. I start to experience and try new things which I've never thought of doing it before.

Knowing Him, allowed me to know what are the things that I can do with Him, allowed me to gain experiences from trials and tribulations.

All the trials that He has set for His children, are always for our own benefits, and to shape us into more to the person He wants us to be.

Knowing God, having a relationship with Him, knowing He's always there for me, will always, and forever is the best gift that He has gave me in my life. Thank you God. :)

Happy birthday to me, and happy new birth-day to me. :)

2011-10-11T08:32:00.000-07:00

Every 11th of each month, is the most difficult day for me to go through.

God, if this pain and misery isn't from You , please help me to take them all away.

2011-10-09T05:53:00.000-07:00

Hi ~

Too bored. So here I am to blog. Haha.

Can't believe that my 2 months holiday is coming to an end soon.

Time really flies . And school is going to start soon.

But I must say that this 2 month holiday has been a fruitful one.

I've used the holidays to spend time with the people whom I haven't been meeting up, using the time to heal my wound..... spending more time with God , spending time with my grandmother , and .. I've even told my mother that I've been coming to church.

What's more amazing is , I've invited my mother to my church , and she has been coming to church since last week! 2 times already. :D Thank God!

Though it still takes time, but I believe that overtime she will be saved. The seed in her heart is slowly growing, and I believe when she feels the time is right, she will accept Him into her life. :)

I've also made a promise to myself that before my holidays end, I will let my father know that I am coming to church too . And reach out to him. But I really need to start chatting with my father more. Hm . My brother too .

I will make sure I attend CGM and service regularly too even when my school starts. My pact to myself.

Alrigggghht. Shall stop here to talk to Father :))

2011-09-30T01:28:00.000-07:00

HELLO!

I am back from a 2 day 1 night BONDED tertiary chalet ! Though it was quite akin to camp .

Haha!

Actually this is quite a breakthrough for me.

Because ever since I was secondary 2, I've stopped going for overnight camps .

Nobody really know why . Isn't because of my backbone problem, it's just I don't feel like going for overnight camps.

As I am a person who really, really HATE camps. Let me tell you why.

1) I just don't like to be dirty and packing lots of stuff, or bathing very quick. (normally i will take 1/2 hour to bathe finish.)

2) Camps will bound to have wet/need to get dirty games . (which most people who know me well will know that I'm a cleanliness freak . Highly value cleanliness in all areas of my life. Except for the part my study table in my house is untidy.. :X

However, I really value cleanliness in my life.

I don't put my handphone/anything, NOT EVEN TISSUE packet on the table ,and I don't put my elbows on tables while eating outside (as I don't want my elbows to get dirty), actually still have more. Just observe me more and you will know. hahahaha.

Overall I am a cleanliness freak.

That's why, I will try my VERY BEST to avoid camps at all costs because I don't want to get dirty.

2) I am someone who highly value my outer appearance and how I present to people when outside. Especially to people who I don't even know in camps.

I am SUPER VAIN. That's why, all the more I won't let people to see me IN SPECS in camps. EVEN AT HOME I don't wear specs unless necessary.

Much lest going to camps when my skin complexion is flawed now. (As to me, first impression is very important. So I won't want people whom I first met to remember my face as flawed skin complexion.)

I will make sure the clothes that I wear is matching or fashionable whenever I go out, making sure my hair is in a good condition.

3) I don't like to sleep on hard floor! I like to sleep on my soft and comfy bed.

And at camps, it's super hard to be asleep as people will be chatting while lights were out.. It's very hard to sleep before 1am at camps as there may be programs between 11pm - 1am. (As I've mentioned above, I'm someone who greatly value my appearance... I will make sure I sleep first before I study/do my projects even when the deadline is tomorrow.

As humans' skin will be renewing itself faster from 11pm to 4am. So of course I won't want my face to look so shag in the next morning!

But... I think all of these implications were ignored when it comes to knowing God more.

I am so hungry for God, and I just want to know my Father more. So I just packed my stuff, and go ahead for the bonded chalet. It is one decision that I've never regret. :)

Day 1

Wowwwwwwwww! The house was BIG~~ It looks like a terace to me. Slept in the first bunk, as their aircon was not that cool than the other one. (I am very scared of being cold in the night.)

Was so sad when I was in red team, as my closer cell group members were not in this team but in another team.

But .. I think that was just God's plan to let me know more brothers and sisters outside from my cg. :)

After that played some games and went for hours of Bible study.

Gosh.. the bible study was terrific. Got to know and understand more about God, and improving our walk with God.

And we prayed for each other, and told our partner what God had spoken to us.

Through them, He spoke to me , saying continue to walk with Him, and He shall show me the wonders of His works and more of Him. Which was what I've been craving and hunger after..

Thank you God.

Day 2

Woke up early in the morning to go the changi beach and have quiet time with God. And God showed me Psalms 118:1-9 (NIV)

1 Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good;
his love endures forever.

2 Let Israel say:
“His love endures forever.”

3 Let the house of Aaron say:
“His love endures forever.”

4 Let those who fear the LORD say:
“His love endures forever.”

5 When hard pressed, I cried to the LORD;
he brought me into a spacious place.

6 The LORD is with me; I will not be afraid.
What can mere mortals do to me?

7 The LORD is with me; he is my helper.
I look in triumph on my enemies.

8 It is better to take refuge in the LORD
than to trust in humans.

After that we shared the things that God had showed us to our group. (Y)

Went back to chalet and each of us preached the sermon that we've wrote after taking a break.

All sermons were good, everyone has that capacity to preach man. Amazing. :D

Went to praise and worship for two hours.

The presence of God was so tangible at that time. Everyone in the room got prayed by leaders, everyone in the room was touched by His presence .

And I got laid hands by Amelia. And through her, God spoke to me.

I didn't told anyone about this fear and the problems in my heart.

And the fear is I am scared of being alone and rejected. Even though I've alot of friends, but I still felt alone.

Even though I kept claiming that I am fine , but actually my heart was weeping, as it was already broken into little pieces.

And it's true, that I've always admired other people's lives. Why do I need to go through so much before I can really get what I want and work really hard for it, but some things will still slip away from me and I will end up getting broken into pieces? Throughout my life, I am always, always working very hard . But the results isn't always what I wanted/expected.

I just felt it was unfair. I just felt that this phrase "you reap what you sow" is wrong.

And I thought that God doesn't know how hardworking am I. Always thought that I've just got to face problems alone.

But it was like a BANG on my head.

But actually God knows, He knows every labour or little thing that I've always been working hard for, and it's just part of His plan , His destiny for me, in order to raise me up . And he's already told me from the beginning of the year. He will mend my broken heart, He will always be there for me, and He said, I am not alone, because He will be with me.

Literally cried throughout the prayer . Because I was so touched by His words for me and His presence.

Thank you God. Nothing in this world or my life is more awesome and beautiful to have You in my life, and meeting You.

After that we went to play wet games. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA. all the soap and water . Some soap foam got into my eyes and I was wearing contact lens. T_T

But it was fun . :D

Bathed and ate BBQ food. Yummy. But was having sore throat before that. Ate one barbequed chicken and my voice became very hoarse,deep and sexy. LOL. *coughs coughs* (o'.'o)

Top 8 preachers were chosen, and Congrats to Andrian and Janet for winning ! :D

I am not being bias or what, but I really love Andrian's sermon the most. His sermon was the one which really touched deep into my heart and increased my faith in Him.

How faithful and loving our Father is!

Our life is nothing without You..

And.. Black team won. Congrats!

Thank you all leaders and Carol who organised and planned this chalet. Because this camp was awesome. Actually words can't describe how awesome this camp was. It was the best camp I've ever attended in my whole 19 years of life. I didn't regret going. :)

Knew alot of friends and had alot of fun!

But the best part is knowing and understanding our Father more, and encountering God.

Hallelujah ! :D

In fact I am going for the December church camp! :D

A verse to end with. :)

Psalm 28:7 (NIV)

The LORD is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and I am helped. My heart leaps for joy and I will give thanks to him in song.

2011-09-23T20:33:00.000-07:00

I think this song depicts my current lifestyle now. hahaha!

Rachel Liang 梁文音 liang wen yin -情人X知己 qing ren zhi ji - Happy Holiday

白的 T 卹紫的球鞋剪短的頭發
bái de T xù zǐ de qiú xié jiǎn duǎn de tóu fa
舊的單車新的路一個忘了你的我
jiù de dān chē xīn de lù yí gè wàng le nǐ de wǒ
一顆心兩個人三角的關系
yì kē xīn liǎng gè rén sān jiǎo de guān xi
她沒錯你沉默我無法將就
tā méi cuò nǐ chén mò wǒ wú fǎ jiāng jiu
分手課怎麼教分數都不高
fēn shǒu kè zěn me jiāo fēn shù dōu bù gāo
愛又傷人又美好
ài yòu shāng rén yòu méi hǎo
臉書相簿把你刪除用按鍵退出
liǎn shū xiāng bù bǎ nǐ shān chú yòng àn jiàn tuì chū
清晨跑步讓日出陪我把愛看清楚
qīng chén pǎo bù ràng rì chū péi wǒ bǎ ài kàn qīng chu
遠方島嶼約定旅行我一人成行
yuǎn fāng dáo yǔ yuē dìng lǚ xíng wǒ yì rén chéng xíng
窗外的雲書寫心情讓愛自由
chuāng wài de yún shū xiě xīn qíng ràng ài zì yóu
Happy Holiday 單身的冒險
Happy Holiday dān shēn de mào xiǎn
戀愛續集上演 yeah~
liàn ài xù jí shàng yǎn yeah~
幸福的定義自己寫
xìng fú de dìng yì zì jǐ xiě
現在就出發 Happy Holiday
xiàn zài jiù chū fā Happy Holiday
一顆心兩個人三角的關系
yì kē xīn liǎng gè rén sān jiǎo de guān xi
她沒錯你沉默我無法將就
tā méi cuò nǐ chén mò wǒ wú fǎ jiāng jiu
分手課怎麼教分數都不高
fēn shǒu kè zěn me jiāo fēn shù dōu bù gāo
Find More Chinese lyrics at http://lyricsbus.net/?cat=1126
愛又傷人又美好
ài yòu shāng rén yòu méi hǎo
在這美麗長假
zài zhè měi lì cháng jiǎ
我的心仍相信愛情對的人
wǒ de xīn réng xiāng xìn ài qíng duì de rén
等他來敲門
děng tā lái qiāo mén
Holiday~Happy Day~Holiday~Happy Day~
Holiday~Happy Day~Holiday~Happy Day~
單身的冒險戀愛續集上演 yeah~
dān shēn de mào xiǎn liàn ài xù jí shàng yǎn yeah~
幸福的定義自己寫
xìng fú de dìng yì zì jǐ xiě
現在就出發 Happy Holiday
xiàn zài jiù chū fā Happy Holiday
單身的冒險戀愛續集上演 yeah~
dān shēn de mào xiǎn liàn ài xù jí shàng yǎn yeah~
幸福的定義自己寫
xìng fú de dìng yì zì jǐ xiě
現在就出發 Happy Holiday
xiàn zài jiù chū fā Happy Holiday
Holiday~Happy Day~Holiday~Happy Day~
Holiday~Happy Day~Holiday~Happy Day~

^^

2011-09-16T02:17:00.000-07:00

Was so tired yesterday after CGM ended.

Perhaps it was because i'd only slept for a few hours only?

But it was a good sermon and I'd learnt alot of things. :)

So it was worth it.

Also felt the presence of God within my heart yesterday during CGM.

Felt like tearing all of the sudden , but didn't teared.

God showed me a picture of lotus flower. I was like "Huh?"

Till now I'm not really sure of what is the meaning of that picture.

Guess I need to pray later and ask God..

I hate it when I am alone , and the memories of us just flow back.

Alas, reality just struck me again.

Accepting the fact that all the events will never happen again.

I think maybe it was because God knew the pain and misery that I'm going through now, that was why He sent my friend to lend me this book, which is called "I kissed dating goodbye", by Joshua Harris.

Thank God.

Not only does the book talks about how Christians should see relationships, and also how we can improve our relationship with God.

Everytime I open the book, it just seems like God is speaking to me through the book.

Serves as a reminder for me to see relationships, and also pulls me closer to God.

There was this sentence from the book, which I find it very meaningful, and somehow related to me.

After you've broke up with the person....

"Does he realized he played a part in tearing down her purity? Does he feel pangs of guilt for breaking her heart? Does he even care?

I believe the time has come for Christians, male and female, to own up to the mess we've left behind in our selfish pursuit of short-term romance. What excuse will we have when God asks us to account for our actions and attitudes in relationships? If God sees a sparrow fall (Mat 10:29), do you think He could possibly overlook the broken hearts and hurt we cause in relationships based on selfishness?

Everyone around us may be doing it. But at the end of our lives, we won't answer to everyone. We'll answer to God. Our actions in relationships haven't escaped God's notice. But here's the good news: The God who sees all our sin is ready to forgive if we repent and turn from them.

Because of Jesus's sacrifice for me, I know that God has forgiven me for the sins I've committed against Him and against the girlfriends I've had.

It's this grace, this mercy, that should motivate us to live differently for the rest of our lives.

I'm an unworthy sinner that God chose to rescue and forgive.

This is love.

And because I've experiened it - because Jesus died for me - I am committed to a love life that's controlled by Him."

I am willing to be controlled by You.

2011-09-12T19:30:00.000-07:00

Wow. My eyes are so swollen now. (Later going beach with mj! wee ^^)

Cried so much when I'd watched finish the Letters To God movie.

Then found out that recently there're alot of friends around me who are suffering the same situation as them .

And it just made me to cherish the people around me, because you will never know what will happen the next day.

But still I will be keeping them in prayers .

Because I know it's really painful to lose someone that you love so much .

Thank God for every day that He had gave us , because maybe even when I am typing this post now, there's someone out there, struggling their best to live on.

2011-09-11T20:25:00.000-07:00

If time were to rewind, I guess I would want the same thing to happen to me again.

Because some people come into your life as true friends that will stay by your side forever and are important to you, whereas some people come into your life as lessons.

If you didn't came into my life, I guess I would never had learnt a lesson .

Nor will I grow closer to God, my leaders, and learnt so much things, things that I shouldn't do and should do.

Things that I should be aware of , wary of , things that can be avoided .

Nor would I grow stronger .

I have already forgave you . Because God taught us how to forgive, forgive our enemies, love them. If Jesus can forgive the sins that humans did, why can't I do the same?

:)

Even though the love is still there , but I am sure they will dissipate someday . And it will be the day where I've stopped treating you as invisible in cgm/service, and start to talk to you again.

But throughout these hard times, Thank God for giving me His strength to move on and placing so many caring friends beside me , accompanying me and still loving me .

However, I am feeling better now. Recovery stage.

At least, I am feeling happier everyday, with You by my side everyday, my Remedy.

2011-09-04T19:59:00.000-07:00

Taylor Swift - The Story Of Us (US Version)

I used to think one day we'd tell the story of us

How we met and the sparks flew instantl

People would say, "they're the lucky ones"

I used to know my place was a spot next to you

Now I'm searching the room for an empty seat

Cause lately I don't even know what page you're on

Oh, a simple complication

Miscommunications lead to fall out

So many things that I wish you knew

So many walls up I can't break through

Now I'm standing alone

In a crowded room

And we're not speaking

And I'm dying to know

Is it killing you

Like it's killing me?

I don't know what to say

Since a twist of fate

When it all broke down

And the story of us

Looks a lot like a tragedy now

Next chapter

How'd we end up this way?

See me nervously pulling at my clothes

And trying to look busy

And you're doing your best to avoid me

I'm starting to think one day

I'll tell the story of us

How I was losing my mind when I saw you here

But you held your pride like you should have

But losing you, is my greatest blessing that God had gave me. :)

2011-09-03T01:38:00.000-07:00

New blogskin , new layout, new song, new beginning of life.

Let me summarise my life for last month, August.

Projects, tests, exams, heartaches, studying, going church.

My daily life. ;O

Okay. Let's talk about my life after breaking up with Kenneth.

As usual, I still have alot of projects and exams on hand.

Man, my life was so terrible at that point of time. I was so fragile . Yet I still have to put a smiling mask to go to school everyday.

Everyday I woke up, I will cry. Every night before I go to sleep, I will cry. I will keep going to his facebook profile and see how is he doing, what are his feelings after breaking up with me .

Studying and memorising notes while crying at the same time.

That was such a difficult period of my life.

After that I made a pact to myself, that I will ask him to patch with me after exam ends on 2nd Sep. (which was just yesterday.)

We met, and he came to my house.

Locked ourselves inside my bedroom , and I faced him with a straight face, asking him if he wants to patch.

But he shook his head. I could feel my heart breaking already.

Then I told him about how I spent my life after we broke up. (Crying and stuff)

After that I hugged him tight and cried, and pleaded him to come back to me , because I really feel so miserable without him in my life. Literally crying everyday and can only see darkness .

He hugged back and cried . At that point of time I really thought that I had a chance.

But when I asked him for patch again, he pushed me away.

This time ,my heart was totally broken, crushed into pieces.

I started to wake up to reality. Then I shoved all the stuff that belonged to him to his hands.

I said to him,

"let's not contact ever again . Even if we are in cgm/service, I will treat you as an invisible person. I will treat like you've never passed by in my life before. We will be strangers.

AND THE PERSON I HATE MOST IS YOU.

Then I said , everytime is me who stands by the door and watching your back and going inside the lift.

This time, you will be the one who will be watching me go. Since it's your decision to let me go. You chose to let me go, heartlessly. You chose to let go of this relationship and not give it a second chance. You will never ever step into my house or go out alone with me again.

Because we are strangers.

Get out of my house and throw the keys on the floor later . (Then i passed to him the house keys)

Then i sat on the chair, crying with all my tears out. He turned back, and stood beside me , watching me cry. I thought, I really thought he wanted to change his mind and come back to me. But he just patted my head , and said, don't cry anymore.

I looked at him, trying to see any hope in his eyes. But his eyes is the same. The feeling is still the same. The look is still the same. And that point of time I know that he will never, ever come back again.

After that I said. Go away please. And he started to walk away, walk away from me , to the door , and out of my house, gone. Leaving me alone in the room, leaving me in my misery.

He still loves me , this is the fact that he can't deny, and even told me his own. I love him too. Both of the party still love each other .

But it's just, we're not fated to be . Nothing can be changed. He is not willing to change for me . The outcome will still turns out the same if we are back again if one party doesn't want to give in any effort in this relationship anymore , though he still loves me .

At that night, I prayed, talked to Him.

I cried , keep crying till my eyes were swollen and red. Prayed for Him to give me strength to stay strong, prayed that I can continue to smile, prayed for Him to be with me at this time.

This morning, I prayed again. Somehow, talking to Daddy, really feel so much better.

Yesterday's event was so.... so vague.

Just feel that it happened long ago. The pain and misery got better, by the grace of God.

Though we may not be lovers, though the love between us still exists, but..

sometimes letting go of someone, you will find someone better out there, the destined person that God has planned for His beloved children.

Deleted all our photos in Facebook, put our albums into private.

Our memories, shall be the beautiful chapter of our love story. And actually, I don't hate you. That phrase was spoken to you because I want you to feel hurt.

Tears may be shed, pain may be miserable, scars may be deep.

But time, and God's grace will heal them all .

This time , I've let go of you. I will never ever look back . To me , you are just a piece of memory in my heart and mind .

Because at the very least, we've had happy memories, beautiful times, beautiful events, breath-taking places we've gone to, the beautiful words we've shared to each other, the tears shared, laughter and fun we've had, the amazing times we've spent with each other, most importantly,

we used to love each other madly before. We used to. Used to..

I will be a stronger person from now on. And continue to smile .

Painful experiences were created to mould people into a stronger and much better person .

At least I won't choose the wrong guy from now on.

Lastly, all the best in your future endeavours, Kenneth . Your choices affect consequences in future. Aim for the poly you want, do well in your studies, and be punctual for your school .

I will keep you in prayers for your skin and bone condition.

Someday I will get over you , and talk to you again as friends.

But for now, it's impossible. But I believe time will heal the pain .

And I believe someday, I will use our story , and find a hurt, to heal the hurt.

2011-08-12T22:59:00.000-07:00

12/8/11

Friday

Just after the day of our 1 year and 4 months anniversary.

I've always thought we would be together forever.

Haha. I am so naive.

I was being dumped. When all along I've been trying so hard , and giving in my all for this r/s. To know that I'm not loved anymore at the end of the day.

Trying so hard, what are the consequences?

Result? Dumped.
Memories? Stayed.
Feelings? Stayed and became stronger.
Heart? Broken.
Mind? Can't do anything. (Worse, my main exams is coming.)
SMSes? Can't bear to delete.
Photos? Can't bear to delete.
Contact? Can't bear to delete.

My mummy said never drop a single tear for any man, and say this will be the last time i will be weeping for a man. and she says there is no need to think about him.

I was like, "mummy, do you think it is so easy to do that?!"

Everywhere I go , walked, bathed, studying, home, eating... I will be reminded of you. The deja vu will keeps coming back. Everything reminds me of you. I just have to bring at least 2 packets tissues out for today and yesterday . I kept on crying non-stop and people just keeps staring at me. But i really can't control it.

You passed to me the book of diary on the day we broke up.

I went home to read it.

Inside was EVERYDAY records of me and you. Events, activities, feelings, etc .. all were recorded inside. That was for our 1st anniversary present. Yet i received it on the day we broke up. This makes me harder to let you go. Reading all these stuff made me touched and I just kept on weeping while reading every page.

I am like a living crying zombie. It's just too miserable , too painful, too hurt, too disappointed. What sucks the most is I still love you so much. Yet you chose to let go of me, let go of our r/s.

And it's not 1 day or 2 day of relationship, it's 16 months, 1 year and 4 months of relationship. How to get used of not having your presence and contact?

It will take me years to forget you and bury our memories in my heart. Years .........

2011-06-20T07:14:00.000-07:00

Stuck In The Moment lyrics
Songwriters: Bieber, Justin; Reeves, Jeremy; Rigo, Danny; Romulus, Ray; Yip, Jonathan;

With you, with you

I wish we had another time
I wish we had another place

Now Romeo and Juliet
Bet they could never felt the way we felt
Bonnie and Clyde never had the highlight
We do, we do

You and I, both know it can't work
It's all fun and games 'til someone gets hurt
And I don't, I won't let that be you

Now you don't wanna let go
And I don't wanna let you know
There might be something real between us two
Who knew?

Now we don't wanna fall
But we're tripping in our hearts
And it's reckless and clumsy
'Cause I know you can't love me here

I wish we had another time
I wish we had another place

But everything we have is stuck in the moment
And there's nothing my heart can do
To fight with time and space
'Cause I'm still stuck in the moment with you

See like Adam and Eve, tragedy was a destiny
Like Sonny and Cher, I don't care, I got you, baby
See we both fighting every inch of our fiber
'Cause in a way it's gonna end right
But we are both too foolish to stop

Now you don't wanna let go
And I don't wanna let you know
There might be something real between us two
Who knew?

And we don't wanna fall
But we're tripping in our hearts
And it's reckless and clumsy
And I know you can't love me here

I wish we had another time
I wish we had another place

But everything we have is stuck in the moment
And there's nothing my heart can do
To fight with time and space
'Cause I'm still stuck in the moment with you

See like just because this cold, cold world saying we can't be
Baby, we both have the right to decide we
And I ain't with it

And I don't wanna be so old and gray
Reminiscing 'bout these better days
But convention's telling us to let go
So we'll never know

I wish we had another time
I wish we had another place

'Cause everything we did
And everything we have is stuck in the moment
Yeah

I wish we had another time
I wish we had another place, oh, no, no

But everything we have is stuck in the moment
And there's nothing my heart can do
To fight with time and space
I'm still stuck in the moment with you

2011-06-19T20:31:00.001-07:00

Often you will feel that life is perfect.

You will feel contented with the things and life around you, when in reality, the things around you are crumbling, they are falling apart.

Living in your own complacency world, you chose to be oblivious to your surroundings.

You chose to believe your own perception that everything is fine.

Ultimately, you have to face the cruel truth someday . The truth walked towards you, and showed itself, and you have to accept it.

You have to BE STRONG, you have to be normal in front of the people around you, lest they worry about you.

You have to BE STRONG, BE STRONG . BE STRONG and put a facade and being strong...

Ultimately, you need to move on . Because you are sure that God will be beside you all the time. He wants you to go through the trials and tribulations . He wants you to be stronger.

But maybe you will need a certain amount of time for you to crawl back on your feet again, crawl back to your original position again, even when your heart is broken , your dreams are shattered, your mind are in a mess, your eyes are tearing..

Relationships.

2011-05-24T07:23:00.000-07:00

In my opinion. There are three types of relationship in this world.

1st is material-based relationship, 2nd is comfort-zone relationship, last but not least, it's the greatest out of these three, which is love relationship.

Firstly, money-based relationship means one party or both parties got together for the sake of materials. maybe it's because one party wants to have a luxury life with the rich person that is why they got together or even ended up getting married. But they have a sad life . Because it wasn't because of love that they have for each other that is why they've got married. One example is someone that is blood-related to me.

Secondly, it is comfort-zone relationship. Maybe both parties really liked each other at the first place and have got together for years already. They've got so used to each other's presence that they didn't even contemplate of breaking up. Even if they have problems with each other, they will just quarrel for awhile but got well in the end because they don't want to leave each other, because they don't want to experience the hurt/reality and missing each other's presence. Maybe they still have love for each other, just that it isn't as strong as before.

The greatest out of these three, is love relationship. Both parties got together purely because of love. They really cherish, care, and sacrificed alot for each other. Loving each other till the very end of their life.

2011-04-30T00:33:00.000-07:00

I think life is sort of awesome now.

Studying my favorite course in my favorite school with my new nice classmates.

Enjoying myself in every lesson and enjoying going to school.

And having Kenneth by my side , him treating me so nice and showering me with love and care.

:D

Total relaxation .

:D

2011-04-17T07:09:00.000-07:00

You're always there for us, especially in times of crisis.

We can be in tears and broken in front of You, as we know You'll never fail to give us comfort.

As we know You are a great God who never fail to give good advices to us , giving us Your overwhelming warmth and Your unfailing love to us. (:

2011-04-16T09:19:00.000-07:00

I know that I am not really a significant person in your heart.

2011-04-04T10:11:00.000-07:00

Promises are made, but are always broken. Disappointment
filled up my heart,and it's turned numb overtime. Smiles filled my face, so as I can
stop myself from tearing.

2011-03-14T08:56:00.000-07:00

Feel like scolding all the profanities out. But no, i cannot do that.

Super stressed up and super pressurized.

Wondering when am i going to tear down that stupid facade and open up myself more instead of bottling them up.

Think i am going crazy.

2011-01-17T07:18:00.003-08:00

some things are better off unsaid.

2011-01-15T06:57:00.001-08:00

Feels that sometimes habits die hard.

For example, for the past few years you kept going to someone's blog or FB account because the person is special to you and you wanna know more about the person.

Even when everything has changed, you will just continue doing so.

Overtime, it became a habit and you just couldn't stop doing it.

For example, you will feel something is wrong if you don't do your daily routines.

And it just sucks because whenever i clicked on blog i will just type out everything honestly.

It's like, tempting me to write out my own real thoughts and feelings, though i know people may read it, may judge me, may comment or gossip about it.

But i guess sometimes blog really relieves your stress when you've typed everything out.

For the past few years, i kept saying i wanna make my blog to private.

But till now my blog is still public.

It's not that i am an attention seeker or what, it is just , sometimes blog is a good way to express your feelings and thoughts, the things that you can't bring yourself to tell your friends or someone about it.

Sometimes i want my close friends to know what is happening in my life, as i know they care about me.

Maybe you will ask, so why don't you invite them? Well, i just feel that there's no need to. hahas. And i am lazy. :X

I will get flare up if sometimes Kenneth says he didn't have time to read my blog.

It's not that i am petty or being crazy, it's just, sometimes words are hard for me to express them out to people, especially if the person is really close to me. The words will become harder to express and say out.

In the past, i always wonder why must friends always need to visit their blogs?

But now i understand, it's because you want to know more about the person's life, how are they doing, what are their inner thoughts, etc etc, because you really care for that particular person or friend.

Of course, not only visiting blogs, we must meet up with them, sms them, call, etc etc to check how's their life.

Hahas.

All in all, i just wanna say, blog is a good way to express your thoughts to people, or even messages to direct at someone, that you'll find it hard to say out to them.

But sometimes, the posts that i've posted, are not meant to hurt people's feelings. So i am sorry if that happens, because i am just too honest while posting posts. Sigh.

2011-01-14T06:41:00.000-08:00

Sometimes i just despise for who am i, the things and actions that i do , the attitude i have, the character that i have. Sigh. Feel that opening a public blog isn't good. Maybe i will just close down this public blog and open a private blog for myself. So people won't be able to read my mind and feelings.

2011-01-02T00:37:00.000-08:00

HELLO!!!

before i start to blog, i wanna wish everyone HAPPY 2011 NEW YR!!!

hahaha. sorry guys. haven't been updating blog recently..

was too busy, busy with work recently.

whenever i reached home i would be half dead already.

haven't been using computer for months already.

finally got the chance to use my laptop now. oh yeah. have i mention that my dad got a new laptop for me not long ago?? YIPPEEE. it's my birthday present. hahahaha! loveeeeeeeeeeees! :D

now i don't need to worry about not having a laptop for poly already :D

haha. i am too lazy to blog what happened for the past few months.

i will just blog out the thoughts and feelings and stuff that happened in the year of 2010.

let me blog out the stuff that was screwed up that happened in 2010, so i can embrace the new year. i don't know if he will read this, but well, i just wanna blog them out.

thank you for bringing me to church and letting me to know Him, if it weren't for you, i wouldn't have came and know this awesome cellgroup.

thank you for coming to my house almost everyday during O level period to teach me Maths,

thank you for being so magnanimous and willing to forgive me even when i'd done awful things.

thank you for still being my friend and talking to me.

without you, i guess alot of things wouldn't have happened.

It must be a blessing to know you in my life. Thank God for letting me to know you. Though i don't know if you will think it's a blessing to know me in your life at all. But i am sure you'll be happier without me, as i will never be good for you.

Guess that we will never ever will be good friends again. because we'll always have this barrier between us. but i am glad that we are still friends now .

Sometimes i would just smile whenever i thought of the things and stuff that we've did, the places that we've went, the words,the memories. Thank you.

i guess if it wasn't for my impulsive decision and actions, all these wouldn't have happened.

maybe i wouldn't have known E412, Bronson, Chiew Ling, Jacob, Kenneth, and became BFFs with Chay yeow and Gordon.

Ever since knowing You, i've become a happier person. Though sometimes negative thoughts will still land upon me , but just by thinking of you and Your word they will just dissipate.

Ever since I've withdrew from NYP, i feel that I've learn a lot.

Making hard decisions, and learning independently.... knowing some true colors of humans as they'll just throw me aside as i'm of no use to them anymore, getting hurt by hurtful remarks from people as i know that my siblings are cleverer than me, being rebuked by my decisions.

At some point of my life i just feel that everything seems so dim, and i started to hate them for what they did and said, couldn't forgive my dad, just resentment and bitterness in my heart.

but You just released them all, and wanted me to forgive others, like how You've did to us.

Thank God for putting all these important people in my life, thank you for teaching me to become stronger, thank you for putting him in my life, as he never fails to be beside me when i am frail.

Let's put behind our unhappiness, resentments, bitterness, memories that happened in the year of 2010, and embrace our new year.

Because i am sure 2011 will be the twist of our unhappy year, and believe that He will always bless us if we believe in Him.

2011 resolutions!

1) Go into TP! business course! :D
2) B4 and above for both english and e maths :D
3) Get closer to God and spend more time with Him , family, friends, cellgroup
4) learn how to take care of myself and spend more time with him
5) be more sensitive and caring. most importantly, is to be more optimistic! :) and encourage the people around me to be more optimistic in life too. :)

welcome 2011! :D

2010-11-22T23:20:00.000-08:00

went to Xiao long bao buffet with my sister and amanda on sunday. i forgot which date was it. haha forget it. :X

the food were delicious! yummy! XD

ESPECIALLY xiao long bao. xlb is my all-time favourite food. YUM YUM.

after that amanda went to starbucks to do her work, and kenneth came after that, and we went to watch the mummies' movie. hhaha.

niceeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. :DDD

the mummies were cute inside the movie. :D

thanks jiejie for treating me XLB buffet. love you loads! hahaha. but i am sure she wouldn't read this cause she don't read my blog. :X

and it hurts to see the people around you whom you care getting hurt and depressed, but you couldn't do anything to ameliorate their feelings. you feel so helpless, so useless. seeing them feeling so terrible, seeing them crying over someone who isn't worth it, seeing them crying over someone whom they love doesn't reciprocate their feelings.

it just hurts to see them wearing their facade and give people a delusion that they are OKAY. but they aren't. their hearts are bleeding, they are succumbing to depression, they are crying inside.

only i will know their sufferings, but i can only keep mum about it.

what can i do to make them feel better? what can i do to help them? what can i do to take off their facade? what advice can i give them?

2010-11-12T08:51:00.000-08:00

YAY. all pictures are uploaded. yawns gonna sleep now. still need to wake up early tml. BUAIS :D

2010-11-08T23:03:00.000-08:00

Dreamt a series of kaleidoscope images today.

@_@

dreamt that i had flawless skin. and its so white and fair. the dream was so vivid, then i woke up and immediately rushed to the toilet to look myself in the mirror. but reality is cruel. :( because it is still the same. SIGH.

its okay. i will be anticipating for that day to come. >:(

2010-11-03T21:24:00.000-07:00

[EDITED]

HELLO!!!

WAHAHAHA!

FINALLY UPLOADED ALL THESE PIX FINISH ON FB AND BLOG AFTER 4 HOURS!!! :D

weeheeeeeeeees!

Okay lemme start from my birthday eve onwards...

21st oct, 10pm ++

kenneth called me and asked me to open the door.

*actually i'd already guessed that part of the cg members will be there to sing a happy birthday song for me :P*

call it woman's instinct. ;D

with some trepidation, i opened the door *luckily i wasn't wearing my usual PJs HAHA*

and bronson, andrian, kenneth, wirul stood there and sang happy birthday to me with a small and sweet little chocolate cake :D

though i had already knew that this scenario would happen, but i still felt surprised yet touched. :)

made a few wishes then blew the candle. hahas. then wirul didi tried to take pictures of me, but i wouldn't let him :X

then after that they went off, leaving kenneth behind. still thought they kenneth would be able to count down my 18th birthday with me, but alas, it turns out to be the opposite. he stayed on for like 7 mins plus then went off . cuz his mother want him back home as soon as possible so he could eat his dinner.

felt devastated at that moment as i really wished tt he could stay on to count down my birthday with me.

not that i am not understanding, just that it was my birthday and he is a significant person to me. :(

chay yeow called me, and he said he wanted to tell me his woes on 12am plus face to face. felt that it was something serious so i agreed. and then i still stupidly believed him. hahah. then he came over and asked me to open the door, i thought i would see a sad cy standing there, but instead i saw a hurried cy trying to light the candle on the cake but to no avail hahas! eventually i lit up the candle my own and he sang happy birthday to me.

then he stayed all the way at my house to 12am and was the first person to say happy birthday to me face to face. :) then we chatted till 1am plus then he needed to go back to marcus's house. (or is it i was feeling tired and want to turn in early? hahaha)

all the wishes and FB wishes came pouring in like there's no tomorrow at 12am and after that :D just then i realized that i am not an insignificant person after all. (:

22nd oct

woke up in the morning and went to dolphin lagoon with chay yeow :D

took alot of pictures and had alot of fun. (ESP THE DOLPHIN SHOW PART)

thank you chay yeow for treating and accompanying me to dolphin lagoon! ^_^ BFFs! :)

(Randomness: and thank you gordon for coming to my house just to pass me my birthday gifts and your handmade card! i really like the handphone keychain. :D and the vouchers really helped me alot. :) and the domo kun. :) loved x3)

okay i shall continue my story.

my image of the beautiful dolphin was quite disillusioned when i saw the real pink dolphins face to face. but still, they are so adorable! you know, dolphins know how to sense humans' emotions just by looking at their facial expression. if we're sad, they will be sad too. the stunts that they'd performed is so cute! hehehe. dolphins will always be my favourite animal. :D

after that i went to kenneth's house, and he cooked a spaghetti meal, made waffle ice cream, mushroom soup for me :) felt so happy ,touched and blissed while eating the meal. :) after that he gave me a handmade card. he even recorded down all the small details inside, like we only went out alone for 6-8 times in our 6 months plus relationship. hahaha. that shows how busy we both are. :x

nearly teared when i read the words inside the card , but i didn't. ;x

after that he locked himself up inside his room and i was wondering what is he doing. then he emerged , showing himself wearing a vest and a white shirt and a pair of long black pants.

then he told me that he specially went to bugis street to buy this vest as i'd always bugged him to wear vest as i feel that guys wearing vest look awesome. then he gave me this pair of pink shoes. also bought in bugis street. cuz he remembered that last time when we are hunting for carin's bday present, i was eyeing on this pair of shoes. but i didn't buy it because i didn't have enough cash on me. he actually remembered everything about me and us. :)

actually thought of going to watch the child's eye , but eventually didn't because jillian they all were waiting for us in her house.

so kenneth and i went to jillo's house.

the moment i stepped in, they sang happy birthday song to me and gave me a small cake. :D

and a cute cinnamon roll soft toy and the white princessy dress for present. :D thanks clique! x3 love you guys.

chatted, and sang with them till very late. after that we forced lester and pamela to sing the titanic love song "my heart will go on" , then just as they were singing at the climax of the song, dunno who accidentally ejected the song . LOL.

damn hilarious.

went home with angela and kenneth. :)

fabulous day. actually it is more than that. words can't describe my happiness on my bday. :) thank you guys who made my 18th bday a memorable and happy one! :) x3

28th oct

met up my sis to go and eat. actually we were planning to eat the buffet which costs 60 dollars plus, but when we reached there it was too late already. so we went to astons eventually.

had a heart to heart chat with my sister. and came to know how much pain and misery she have been going through.

feel that i need to care for my sister more often, and of course my family.

but the problem is we don't have the tendency to talk to each other our problems because we'll find it awkward. ._.

so i think i should take the initiative to talk to them more. *nods head*

then my sister paid the bill and we went off.

after that my sister told me that initially she wanted to buy an itouch for my birthday. i was so damn touched. like damn.

some more she even willing to treat me the 50 dollars plus buffet just to make me happy on my birthday.

just then i realized that my sister is an awesome sister. and a really nice sister. :) and it just makes me love her more and feel blissed to have a sister like her. :)

30th oct

went to service today. like finally?!

the service was as usual, awesome. and got to learn and understand more about god :)

after that, service ended and it was time for fellowship.

thought that they were going to say they're going to celebrate my birthday now and go to somewhere to eat .

but they didnt say anything D: and i felt devastated :(

then we went to tampines open space to takeaway food to eat.

feel that they are definitely not going to celebrate my birthday because i thought birthday's celebration should go to somewhere nice to eat instead of open space area to eat.

felt like tearing when i convinced myself that they wouldn't be celebrating my birthday.

then suddenly bronson and kenneth with the rest came and present to me a cake :D

felt touched when they present to me the card and the cg present.

PS: i was shocked when i saw the cg present because I totally didn't expect it oh my goodness thank you bronson and E412! it really helps to relieve my financial burden :)

and thank you gordon for the ice cream cake. i am touched, really :) of course must thank dhanu who made the card individually . And E412 for the wishes :) Especially bronson's words for me, because i've never thought that i would have potential in anything or will anyone even notice me :) and it simply just motivated me to know more about God and want to serve him even more :)

so thank you E412 and gordon and chay yeow who came to celebrate my birthday. You all rocks :)

1st nov

went kbox with chay yeow. the price was so expensive! it costs $11 plusplus and we only sang for 3 hours.

super not worth it .

chay yeow's singing is great . no wonder he got into the singing competition finals previously. :)

thank you bestie for treating me the kbox!! :D

marcus came and joined us after that.

we went to pastamania to eat. yuppp. the spaghetti tastes nice~ :D

had a great day today. HEHE. thanks bestie. ^_^

2nd nov

went to chels' house to stay overnight.

chatted alot with them and i'd enjoyed myself tremendously . :)

found out something from them when i chatted with them. about how they place their friends, in descending importance ranking.

Felt quite sad when i knew my importance to them because i'd always thought i am their number 1 bff. haha. oh gosh, why am i tearing when i typed this. this is quite dumb. lols!

but i feel that i have to accept it as i know i haven't been spending much time with them.

and sometimes people will meet new friends, and they just clicked.

and there is no such thing as "oh , you met her/him earlier, so you should click with him/her or are much closer to her/him."

because sometimes even if you met and knew that person for 7 years, you wouldn't be close with him . but ironically, you'll get to know someone for 1 yr, and you both just clicked and became really close friends because of similar interests or personality or characteristics or topics etc etc.

and sometimes , even if you placed that person as your number 1 bff, it doesn't mean that the other party will reciprocate your significance to him/her.

you just have to accept it and move on.

and it just made me to love God more, because i know that God placed me (and everyone) in His first place, and will never ever disappoint me or hurt me.

eventually i was chased out by their grandpa because their grandpa don't allow people to stay overnight in their house.

haha. then walked all the way to kovan mrt alone around 11pm plus. but its okay. :) at least i get to know more about how are they doing and know more about their problems. i want to grow closer to my surrounding friends and cherish them more during my free time. :)

and talked to vanessa about a little of God , haha.

I will keep praying for all my loved ones to receive their salvation. because they are significant to me.

4th nov

initially, we planned to eat the kuishin-bo buffet. but alas, when we reached there it was quite late and was closing already. it wouldn't be much worth the price. PS: it costs 50 dollars plus per person. ._.

we went to saizeriya instead.

my mum just don't quite like the food there. hmm. she likes simple food. like porridge?!

@_@

but still i feel that we should bring my mum out more often to let her taste the heavenly food instead of cooping up at home and eating the same old food. :S

after that my mum went off to work. then left me and my sister. i stayed on to accompany her to wait for her friends to come, and had a heart to heart chat with her again.

then in the middle of the conversation we just landed on christianity. i started to answer her why christians will raise up their hands while singing, why we need to sing songs, etc etc.

then i just popped a question and asked her whether she'd like to come to chc to experience it. surprisingly she agreed! then she proceed to check her schedule and said 11th dec she is free.

i was overjoyed :D because that marks the first step of my first family member being saved. and i want to thank God for doing that. :)

so 11th dec is a really important day for me. because she is a significant person in my life. :)

after that her friends came and we went to a bar.

tasted beer a little but i feel that it sucks. its so bitter. *pouts*

6th nov

the service was AWESOME.

:)

it is quite interesting to see people falling when the Holy spirit landed on them. :)

and i got touched by pastor Phil. But i only fell half way. And that just proves something, it just proves that my faith in God is not that great.

I didn't really felt anything, maybe only after that i felt that my heart was refreshed and my mind was sane.

And i started to rebuke myself, and ask myself why i didn't concentrate on God at that time but instead i was looking at the screen and looking at the people being touched by Pastor Phil. i wasn't concentrating. and i strongly feel that that is something that i should improve on.

Improve my concentration and get rid of distractions , have greater faith in Him by reading more of God's words and understanding Him.

Reason? Because you can't love someone more if you don't understand him/her completely.

Gahh! finally finished blogging after 7 hours. hahaha. Shall upload the rest of the pix when my handphone is repaired! :D

PS: my father won his company's lucky draw and got a LED TV and a netbook for free. Just when my TV and laptop are spoil. (the pix are below) And i want to thank God for that. :)

After knowing You, my life started to change for the better.

pix pix pix

2010-09-28T22:01:00.000-07:00

hello!

Finally finished uploading all these pics. ._.

So lazy to upload them into facebook. Teeheeheee.

Alottttttttttt of things had happened over the past few days. Hm hm hm. Lazy to blog them all out. hahahha.

I will just blog about kenneth's bday celebration :P

his family is so nice ! Treated me astons meal. Weehehehe.

And i know that he's elated that i celebrated his bday with his family too. wahahaha.

and it was epic to see his astounded expression when he saw the cake. :D Though the cake that i'd baked looked grotesque and tastes like omg.... but surprisingly kenneth said it tastes NOT BAD.

@_@ but nevertheless it is the efforts that counts! hehehe. spent almost 10 hours baking that cake and making the card for him.

alas the cake was overcooked and had a weird taste. :S

glad that you'd enjoyed the mini celebration dear! hahaha. ;D

but i will be spending my birthday in my solitary house with a pile of books on my bday.

tsktsktsk!

ANDAND. i felt embarrassed when his parents saw the card that i had made for kenneth!! OMGGG. i think they had read a little. THAT'S SO EMBARRASSING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

SCREAMS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! all the mushy words and stuff OH MY GOODNESS. i think i can crawl into a hole and bury myself. AAAA.

okay i think i should stop my craps and study now. Byebye everyone!

andand happy 18th birthday dearrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr! Xoxoxo

PS: the boy with the horns in the drawing is bronson! LOL. :P

PPS: the adorable baby hello kitty was caught by kenneth!!! isn't that sweet?!?! :DD

pixpixpix

2010-09-23T20:25:00.001-07:00

Perfect- Hedley

Falling a thousand feet per second, you still take me by surprise
I just know we can't be over, I can see it in your eyes
Making every kind of silence, takes a lot to realize
It's worse to finish than to start all over and never let it lie
And as long as I can feel you holding on
I won't fall, even if you said I was wrong

I'm not perfect, but I keep trying
'Cause that's what I said I would do from the start
I'm not alive if I'm lonely, so please don't leave
Was it something I said or just my personality?

Making every kind of silence, it takes a lot to realize
It's worse to finish than to start all over and never let it lie
And as long as I can feel you holding on
I won't fall, even if you said I wrong

I know that I'm not perfect, but I keep trying
'Cause that's what I said I would do from the start
I'm not alive if I'm lonely, so please don't leave
Was it something I said or just my personality?

When you're caught in a lie and you've got nothing to hide
When you've got nowhere to run and you've got nothing inside
It tears right through me, you thought that you knew me
You thought that you knew

I'm not perfect, but I keep trying
'Cause that's what I said I would do from the start
I'm not alive if I'm lonely, so please don't leave
Was it something I said or just my personality?

I'm not perfect, but I keep trying
'Cause that's what I said I would do from the start
I'm not alive if I'm lonely, so please don't leave
Was it something I said or just my, just myself
Just myself, myself, just myself

I'm not perfect, but I keep trying

damnit, this song rocks. :D

2010-09-16T08:38:00.000-07:00

Today was quite a tough day for me.

Got back my lousy results for P2. My summary and comprehension simply sucks.

Was rebuked by my teacher. Like my O lvl exams is around the corner, yet i am still not proficient in my summary and comprehension .

Ambled out from the tuition center and started to have all these negative thoughts.

I started to blame myself. Why i am so dense, why can't i just get good results for every paper i had sat. Even some of the maths questions i don't know how to do. I shouldn't even be practicing now, because o lvl exam is around the corner. I started to ponder, why my brother and sister are so brilliant, they scored well for their O lvl, they are successful in everything, going to the Uni they wanted, going to the course they wanted. Why am i the one who was left behind, why am i still mugging O level at the age of 18 , why i got into NA. What if i got F9 for Maths and English, won't i be back to square one? Why can't i be more successful? Why can't i be more smart? What if i can't get into poly? What if. what ifs..

I started to totter , and walked into the dark, into a solitary place. Broke into tears and almost fall down. Looked at my handphone, and i feel that i shouldn't disturb anyone now, because nobody will care, because this is my own problem, i should solve them my own and face everything myself.

Somehow He heard that i am crying and really need someone to talk to, then suddenly my handphone was bombarded with calls. Chatted with chay yeow, and felt much better.

He said, i should be more optimistic , i should feel good about myself. And he will help me in maths and english, i was like oh my god. Thanked him perpetually over the phone and keep laughing . People must have thought that i am some kind of mental person.

Went to buy my favourite food Fried fish steamboat which costs $5. But alas, there is only $3 in my purse. But the uncle was super nice, he say i can return the money to him other days. :)Thank you uncle.

Then after that kenneth called me, asking me what happened. Then i told him everything, including the crying part. Then he say i shouldn't let my emotions get the better of me, i should learn how to control my emotions and shouldn't break down easily. Then i got really agitated and started arguing with him, saying i am not a human who is void of emotions or feelings. Nobody was there to comfort me , nobody was there for me, of course i would cry. Then i hung up his call in haste, and sat down awhile. Screaming in frustration and keep pouring everything out to gordon. Then after that i watched a MV, and it sort of soothes my mind and soul.

Haha. Reverse psychology. I felt super exuberant after that. And i received kenneth's message , and smiled. Love you dear.

All's well ends well. :) Hallelujah (:

2010-09-05T05:24:00.000-07:00

Whats the use of comparing myself with the other people? So what if they know and practiced more in depth than me for O level subjects?

At least i am studying straight 8 hours for maths and english everyday and have the help of my super nice friends helping me.

So what if i have all the hideous scars and the pimples all over my face?

At least i am trying my best to ameliorate my skin condition by going to the doctor , going to facials and maintaining a healthy diet, and planned to go for laser surgery to remove my scars after my pimples are healed.

So what if my hair is super frizzy and dry?

At least i am applying hair mask and applying hair conditioner to my hair everyday.

So what if i have a fat tummy?

At least i am on my way to exercise now to slim down by doing yoga.

So dun ever criticize me for my flaws because i know i am trying my best. And i love who am i and are trying to improve my physical flaws. :D

2010-09-04T21:57:00.000-07:00

Humble yourself in front of Him, always have faith in him, but not strong faith in yourself.

Go to service and cgm for the sake of spending quality time with Him and serving Him, but not for the sake of anything else. (:

2010-08-31T01:07:00.000-07:00

i am writing this post in a very frustrated mood.

arghhhhh. why can't i just learn to relax, relax relax.

i just can't seem to CALM MYSELF when its exam time. that is why i wrote a chunk of junk during o's.

sometimes when i want someone to talk to , i just can't find anyone.

i am just scared that they will be disturbed by me, scared that they won't want to listen to my crappy woes .

Then i had all these super high expectations from myself, thus pressurizing myself TTM.

to aggravate the situation, those little pessimists devils keep flying in my head saying "You better do your best or you will be LAUGHED by your poly friends or people who didn't supported your decision initially. they will come and say "what an imbecile and obstinate girl. look, she can't get into poly/anywhere, and didn't heed our advice at the first place. i bet she rued her decision now.*shakes head*"

AAAAAAAARGH fk off . i dun want all these pessimists in my head. GET RID OF THEMM. and the STRESS. DESTRESS . i need to relieve my stress. i need to calm down. ARGH!!!!!!!!

*ruffles my hair in vexation*

2010-08-28T21:55:00.000-07:00

never ever judge a book by its cover. (:

2010-08-23T22:14:00.001-07:00

Just gonna stand there and watch me burn
But that's alright because I like the way it hurts
Just gonna stand there and hear me cry
But that's alright because I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie

I can't tell you what it really is
I can only tell you what it feels like
And right now it's a steel knife in my windpipe
I can't breathe but I still fight while I can fight
As long as the wrong feels right it's like I'm in flight
High off of love, drunk from my hate,
It's like I'm huffing paint and I love it the more I suffer, I suffocate
And right before I'm about to drown, she resuscitates me
She fucking hates me and I love it.
Wait! Where you going?
"I'm leaving you"
No you ain't. Come back we're running right back.
Here we go again
It's so insane cause when it's going good, it's going great
I'm Superman with the wind at his back, she's Lois Lane
But when it's bad it's awful, I feel so ashamed I snapped
Who's that dude? I don't even know his name
I laid hands on her, I'll never stoop so low again
I guess I don't know my own strength

Just gonna stand there and watch me burn
But that's alright because I like the way it hurts
Just gonna stand there and hear me cry
But that's alright because I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie

You ever love somebody so much you can barely breathe
When you're with 'em
You meet and neither one of you even know what hit 'em
Got that warm fuzzy feeling
Yeah, them those chills you used to get 'em
Now you're getting fucking sick of looking at 'em
You swore you'd never hit 'em; never do nothing to hurt 'em
Now you're in each other's face spewing venom in your words when you spit them
You push pull each other's hair, scratch claw hit 'em
Throw 'em down pin 'em
So lost in the moments when you're in them
It's the rage that took over it controls you both
So they say you're best to go your separate ways
Guess if they don't know you 'cause today that was yesterday
Yesterday is over, it's a different day
Sound like broken records playing over but you promised her
Next time you show restraint
You don't get another chance
Life is no Nintendo game
But you lied again
Now you get to watch her leave out the window
Guess that's why they call it window pane

Just gonna stand there and watch me burn
But that's alright because I like the way it hurts
Just gonna stand there and hear me cry
But that's alright because I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie

[Eminem]
Now I know we said things, did things that we didn't mean
And we fall back into the same patterns, same routine
But your temper's just as bad as mine is
You're the same as me
But when it comes to love you're just as blinded
Baby, please come back
It wasn't you, baby it was me
Maybe our relationship isn't as crazy as it seems
Maybe that's what happens when a tornado meets a volcano
All I know is I love you too much to walk away though
Come inside, pick up your bags off the sidewalk
Don't you hear sincerity in my voice when I talk
I told you this is my fault
Look me in the eyeball
Next time I'm pissed, I'll aim my fist at the drywall
Next time. There won't be no next time
I apologize even though I know its lies
I'm tired of the games I just want her back
I know I'm a liar
If she ever tries to fucking leave again
Im'a tie her to the bed and set this house on fire
I'm just gonna

Just gonna stand there and watch me burn
But that's alright because I like the way it hurts
Just gonna stand there and hear me cry
But that's alright because I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie

this song is fabulous. woooo. gosh. tml is my eng oral. freakkkkkkkkkkks out*

2010-08-22T09:56:00.000-07:00

sometimes, some words which are left unspoken will tend to amend broken hearts.

And the moment you had made a decision, make sure you won't rue.

Because choices have consequences. Sometimes the consequences are, you, unable to reconcile with the loved person .

Or, you both will end up as good friends, but the barrier is still there. Eventually you will come to rue your decision, and ponder why you're so obstinate last time, which eventually caused you to lose a friend or a cherished relationship.

Perhaps the reason is also because previously you've took the relationship for granted, that's why you find it nothing big when you have quarelled or broke up a relationship.

Sigh. Humans, will only tend to rue when they had lost something.

The only two viable solutions is to constantly ask yourself, am I making the right decision? What are the consequences? Will I tend to rue it in the near future? Alternatively, ameliorate the situation.

2010-08-18T18:31:00.000-07:00

Sorry that i din update my blog recently.

Was busy mugging. My eng oral is coming next wed. I am nervous like ^&#^#$%$#^$%.

Argh. i hate it. Just can't fking swallow that stupid capsule into my throat. ._.

I woke up super early today. Like 8.30am? When i slept at 2am yesterday. Hahas.

Thanks to my sister's annoying alarm clock.

Blah. Feel that i have a urge to post this "Love" Post today. Because dunno why recently alot of the people around me are having relationships problems.

I know i am not in a position to advice on any relationships thingy, because after all, i had hurt someone deeply before..

But this is the reason i should blog about this more.

Sigh. I wouldn't want to see you being hurt. Why can't you just give up on this stupid love triangle relationship and let go?

It just hurts me when you always say you doubt his feelings for you. It hurts me when you said how pretty her gf looks and how lasting their relationship was. Hurts me more when you told me how elated you felt when you hooked on his arm and he sang the wedding song to you.

You even told me what happened to your friend. I dun want the same to happen to you. Dun want you ended up getting hurt and lost,dumping you like an used toy.

Because i love you, that's why i want the best for you. But alas, my advice was fall on deaf ears.

If someday i were to land up in the same situation as you, i will fking push this feeling away and slap myself umpteen times. Haha. Easy to say hard to perform.

Blah. Dun have mood to blog anymore.Stupid pimples fk you to the core . Just fking go away . I am so going to laser surgery to remove those Damnit pimples and scars after my O level. I want a flawless skin! ARGH!

2010-08-07T21:48:00.001-07:00

Choices have consequences.

2010-08-05T08:37:00.000-07:00

I heard a really devastating story today from one of my cg friend.

Haha. To be frank, i nearly broke into tears, but i tried not to because that will be embarrassing.

I shall be posting a matter-of-fact post today. Please dun even bother to read this post if you can't stand reality facts. Haha.

Throughout life, people will bound to think of this word, "if".

What if time could rewind, what if i did better, what if i am a millionaire, what if, what if..

Most of the time "if" is relative to the reversion of time.

Kick off this sentence, "If only time could rewind."

Because i will be irony and say, "Time couldn't be reversed. You can only try your best to ameliorate or change your situation now to have a better life."

That goes the same for me too. In fact, i often asked myself, what if i did better in my PSLE and went into express stream instead of Normal stream? My life will be changed.

i would not have gone to church, i would not get to know my current clique, E412, my poly friends, my secondary school friends, kenneth, etcetera .

But never did i once regretted in my life knowing them. In fact, i want to thank God for letting me to know them.

After hearing my friend's story, i feel that the more i should cherish my loved ones beside me. I feel that sometimes, i just tend to take my parents' presence and love for granted. My best friends, etc.

When was the last time i really chatted with my parents? 4 years ago? or more i think.

How much do i know about them?

Some more they are getting on age, and i am feeling apprehensive about this...

I feel that i have been spending too much time on my friends, and other stuff, that i didn't even bother to talk to them anymore, much lest caring for them.

My tears keep flowing when i was typing this.

A sudden guilt just flow into my body. I said i love my family. I said umpteen times of i love you to my parents, but how many times did i really demonstrated my love for them through actions?

My parents will quarrel whenever they met. When i heard that they have the intention to divorce, i do nothing. My brother always lock himself up in his room everyday, my sister always come home late.

Deep in my heart, i have always been wanting a family outing, and a family portrait. Seeing my parents communicating well, loving each other, seeing the love in my family, the warmth.

And whenever i ask my siblings where they had gone, i dun want an answer "None of your business." Whenever i ask them what are their problems, their troubles, I dun want them to keep mum and say "Dun tell you."

I dun want to hear answers like "He's not my father, he's not part of our family."

I dun even know how to react to answers like this. I dun even know what to do, what can i do to make my family's bond better? What can i do to make my family love my father once again?

I had once asked God about this, and He replied, saying, "Bring them to church."

But how the hell can i even bring them to church when they are strong believers in their own religion? I think i will probably be grounded and scolded by them like hell before i could even convince them to come church. It will be tough, but i will try. Because i believe, with God, anything is possible.

And to do that, i am going to make it a habit by chatting with my family members everyday, and trying to know more about them.

In the middle of our conversations, i will try to tell them more about Christ, so that they will come to know more about God.

Moral of story: Learn to cherish your loved ones before they are gone. Once they're gone, they will never be back.

Gosh, i think i will be having swollen and puffy eyes tomorrow.

2010-08-01T06:50:00.000-07:00

1st Aug

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO KELLY AND MUN JUN!!! hahahaha.

AND HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO EWE JIN JIE!!! Will be celebrating you and angela's bday this sat! Glad to have you as my friend, love you TTM. BFFs. x33

Had a really fun day with cell group today.

As usual, the service was great and intriguing. :D

Went to saizeriya to celebrate munjun's bday after service.

Ate cheese chicken fillet, one plate of rice, soup, drank alot of drinks and ate pizza too.

GOSHHHH. my stomach felt bloated when i had finished the meal. HAHAHA. But i love the food. Yumyum.

Chatted with cellgroup and my ex colleagues after that. Ah.. started reminisce the days when i was working in saizeriya.

Free food and drinks, high pay. Everything seems perfect. Just that i abhor the part which we need to clear up the dirty plates... ;x

Hmm...

Took alot of pics with cellgroup after that. Wee wee. Shall wait for bronson to upload the pix!! wahaha.

Then me , shuqing, andrian, bronson and perret stayed at saizeriya to do our own stuff/study.

Thanks andrian and perret for teaching us ! :D

Andrian and sq went off aft that, cuz sq have tuition at 8pm. Takecare girl! (:

Went to coffee bean with perret and bronson after that. I've learnt alot today. To be honest, vectors can be quite fun when you know how to solve the questions. hahaha.

Thanks perret!!! :DDD

After that, me and perret started doodling on the blank papers, drawing E412 inside. HAHAHAHA.

We all looked damn comical inside. Keep laughing like mad after the drawing was completed. Then bronson was distracted by us as we keep asking him to see the humorous drawings.

But eventually he was tempted by us and doodled on our drawings. HAHAHAHA.

Gonna show you all the funny drawings when bronson had uploaded the pictures! wahahaha.

Sometimes, God just have a way to let you reconcile with your friends in an unique way. we must learn to forgive and love our enemies before we can learn to love everyone fervently. So , i must learn to forgive my friends. Though i know they dun really regard me as their friends, and sometimes i just feel that i was being ostracized by them.. But it is okay. Because i had moved on, and i had forgave them.

Last but not least.

E412 ROCKS. And i mean it . (:

Okay, i shall stop here. Byebye! (:

2010-07-30T09:44:00.000-07:00

Hello world! Just went to festival of praise. The event was great !

I can simply feel the overwhelming effect and Atmosphere there.

Though as much as I tried to feel the presence of god, I still can't feel him.

But I believe overtime I would feel his presence. :)

I felt so loved when I received the sweet handmade cards from bronson and Carin.

Thanks guys. I love you all too!

Thank god for letting me to know them. :)

I will be anticipating to see you guys this Sunday!!

Lastly, all the best for Chelsea and Vanessa competition tml!!

I will pray for you both ! Loves! What a rapturous day. :D

2010-07-24T11:09:00.000-07:00

HAHAHA.

forget it. Why should i even bother!?!

let this matter pass. let our memories be part of my dissipated memory. let them be my past. but not my future.

i shouldn't even care, nor should i bother.

for what. HA.

but if that's the case, why the heck i want to blog all these out?

i am being irony i know.

because somewhere inside my heart, i can hear the broken heart pieces sound. i can feel my heart being squeezed hard and thrown around.because i know i mean nothing to them.

2010-07-22T22:44:00.000-07:00

Bye NYP.

Hello O levels.

I am going to aim for business course. Gonna give my best shot for my O lvl.

It doesn't matter that i am back to Year 1 again. So long as i dun need to touch computer codes/IT related stuff anymore.

Haha . Thank you for those who'd supported me. Kenneth, my mother, my friends, kor etc..

Somehow, i feel like everything seems like a dream. Everything that i had gone through. All the tears, the happiness, the stress throughout this 3 months.

I feel like i am an oneironaut for the past few months. hahaha.

Wasted my time, my money.

But i won't rue my decision. This is my life, my own route that i chose.

Somehow, i feel that my classmates won't miss me. Maybe some. But definitely not all.

You'll be happier with them rather than me. Sorry for making you so stressed up during the previous months. I think you'll be elated to see me gone. (:

2010-07-11T02:57:00.000-07:00

Hello guysssssss :)

met up with jj and guys for dinner at dhoby ghaut aft i done my project.

as usual, i had alot of fun with them. being with them just lights up my dull day instantly.

i always laughed so happily with them. BFFs . x3 :)

they are my 3am friends. (:

then on 10th july, i went to church.

after so many months and hesitation, i finally accepted Christ in my life.

i still have alot to learn about Christ and Him, so i will have to start from the scratch. i want to know more and understand Him more, by attending service and cgm and all about Him's events.

:)

though its not the appropriate time for me to tell my family about this, but i will find a good time to tell them about this. i know i will definitely face strong opposition from them, or i may even end up being grounded . i dunno.

i can't really predict what their reaction will be.

and yesterday night, i talked to someone.

after so many months of suppressing them in my heart, i finally voiced them all out.

i am sorry. sorry for making you to feel like hell during that period of time. sorry, sorry..

thank you for willing to be my friend after i had hurt you so much. thank you for being so forgiving, thank you for everything.

best friends. (: X3

2010-07-05T08:55:00.001-07:00

is it me being over-sensitive, or is it true?

2010-07-03T23:20:00.000-07:00

sometimes, i wonder why some people in this world just dun think maturely.

do they really have to resent their friends so much just because of a small conflict? when it is not their business in the first place.

how about our past memories with each other? are they meaningless?

why do we have to land up this way? facing each other with the awkwardness and coldness.

it is just plain hurtful and painful. but what can we do?

just dun care about it.

simple to say, hard to do it.

why is it so hard for them to just forgive and forget?

are they so narrow-minded?

why they just can't stand in other people's shoes, and just think of all the things the person did for them. the shared memories. the friendship. the hurt and pain they got when they said that and do all those things.

ARGH.

2010-06-12T00:02:00.000-07:00

saw these from my friends' blog , find them so true and meaningful . (:

2010-06-07T06:40:00.000-07:00

FRIDAY

watched sex and the city 2 with joyce, kengsia, allen, geraldine and elyse today.

HAHAHA. the show is not bad. M18 though... hmmmm. hahahhaha.

laughed like hell at this part.

actress saw a group of guys wearing football tee shirts. turned to waiter then asked

woman: " so how many balls they have?"
waiter: *oblivious* oh! they have many many balls!"
the girls giving the "ROFL" look.

ROFL!!

damn funny . laughed like hell man. hHAHAHAHHA.

omg. okay i better stop here. damn tired omg. byeeeeeeeeeeee :D

2010-06-07T06:33:00.000-07:00

B.O.B - Airplanes

Can we pretend that airplanes
In the night sky
Are like shooting stars
I could really use a wish right now (wish right now, wish right now)
Can we pretend that airplanes
In the night sky
Are like shooting stars
I could really use a wish right now (wish right now, wish right now)

(B.o.B.- Verse 1)
Yeah
I could use a dream or a genie or a wish
To go back to a place much simpler than this
Cause after all the partying
The smashing and crashing
And all the glitz and the glam and the fashion
And all the pandemonium and all the madness
There comes a time when you fade to the blackness
When you're staring at that phone in your lap
And hopin' but them people never call you back
But that's just how the story unfolds
You get another hand
Soon after you fold
And when your plans unravel in the sand
What would you wish for if you had one chance?
So airplanes airplanes
Sorry I'm late
I'm on my way
So don't close that gate
If I don't make that
Then I switch my flight
And I'll be right back at it
By the end of the night

(Chorus - Hayley Williams)

[B.o.B - Verse 2]
Yeah
Yeah
Somebody take me back to the days
Before this was a job
Before I got paid
Before it ever mattered what I had in my bank
Yeah back when i was trying to get a tip at Subway
Back when I was rapping for the hell of it
But now days we rapping to stay relevant
I'm guessing that if we can make some wishes out of airplanes
Then maybe oh maybe I'll go back to the days
Before the politics that we call the rap game
And back when ain't nobody listened to my mixtape
And back before I tried to cover up my slang
But this is for decater
What's up Bobby Ray
So can I get a wish to end the politics
And get back to the music that started this shit
So here I stand
And then again i say
I'm hoping we can make some wishes out of airplanes

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa this song just keep repeating itself in my head!!

2010-05-29T23:05:00.000-07:00

29th may

OMG WTF FINALLY UPLOAD FINISH THE HARU'S PARTY PIX AFTER 3 FKING HOURS OMG I AM GOING BONKERS.

okay overall the party was okay, a little bored out because throughout the 3 hours we keep taking pictures till my smile sort of cramped in the end. -.-

then we went to kovan and find kamchoo , thought can wait for her till aft work and slack, but she said shes going to eat supper with her colleagues. :(

anyway thanks chels for helping me to make up again! hahahaha.

ok back to the topic.

we went to yoshi and eat afterwards then twins went home, then i went to find cg in pasir ris.

hahhaaha. they got shocked by what i wore today, then i told them its because i went for a so called cosplay party beforehand. hahha.

then went to kenneth's house and watch the annoying orange. HAHHAHA. its so funny and the orange is damn irritating.

okay i am stopping here BYE!

2010-05-27T01:51:00.000-07:00

if you all are wondering why i din update for my blog for a long long time... i shall tell you now.

its because projects, revision for tests, revision for o lvl subs has taken up most of my time.

:(

anyway, i had cut my fringe and rebonded it!

Hehehe. i love my super cute fringe now.

:)

in the past, i keep thinking poly life are fun .

oh boy, i was wrong. because they are not fun at all. secondary school life are much more better than poly life.

14th june we are having our study break. but no, it is not study break.

because during the holidays we have to rush another project that need to be handed up and presented to teacher the end of holidays.

next week we still need to work on another proposal for communication skills, when we still have another two projects on hands.

tests on next mon and tues, that simply sucks to the hell .

i have no remaining time to even relax and revise for our o lvl subs.

i can only keep working hard and harder, pushing myself to the maximum , because i want to get good results for poly.

easy to say, but its hard to achieve.

nevertheless, i am still glad i have my friends, family and my most beloved kenneth there with me when i am stressed up . thank you my dears.

i will continue to work hard, but play hard too .

i will be anticipating our shopping, kbox and chatting time during holidays. (:

gotta go for my tuition now, bye!! (:

recently, i keep seeing my friends around me falling out of love. i feel that their love was kinda sweet. their bonds was strong, and they were together for a really long time. Sigh. sometimes it sets me wondering, if someday, this will happen to me too. But i dun want to think about it, because i believe in us, i believe that we will go through everything together, and stay strong together, like a pyramid. (:

2010-05-26T08:29:00.000-07:00

"Pyramid" - Charice
(feat. Iyaz)

[Iyaz]
Shawty's love is like a pyramid (ooh)
We stand together till the very end (eh ooh)
There'll never be another love for sure (ooh)
Iyaz and Charice let we go

Stones, heavy like the love you've shown
Solid as the ground we've known
And I just wanna carry on
We took it from the bottom up
And even in a desert storm
Sturdy as a rock we hold
Wishing every moment froze
Now I just wanna let you know
Earthquakes can't shake us
Cyclones can't break us
Hurricanes can't take away our love

Pyramid, we built this on a solid rock
It feels just like it's heaven's touch
Together at the top, like a pyramid
And even when the wind is blowing
We'll never fall just keep on going
Forever we will stay, like a pyramid

Cold, never ever wear any clothes
We will never let it fall
A story that was never told
Something like a mystery
And every step you took we've grown
Look how fast our time has flown
A journey to a place unknown
We're going down in history
Earthquakes can't shake us
Cyclones can't break us
Hurricanes can't take away our love

Pyramid, we built this on a solid rock
It feels just like it's heaven's touch
Together at the top, like a pyramid
And even when the wind is blowing
We'll never fall just keep on going
Forever we will stay, like a pyramid

Call me up, just just like that
Call me up, just just like that
Call me up, call me up, oh oh oh oh oh
Call me up, just just like that
Call me up, just just like that
Call me up, call me up, oh oh oh oh

Pyramid, keep it going
Pyramid, we built this on a solid rock
It feels just like it's heaven's touch
Together at the top, like a pyramid
And even when the wind is blowing
We'll never fall just keep on going
Forever we will stay, like a pyramid
Built this on a solid rock
It feels just like it's heaven's touch
Together at the top, like a pyramid
And even when the wind is blowing
We'll never fall just keep on going
Forever we will stay, like a pyramid
Pyramid, pyramid, pyramid, pyramid
Pyramid, pyramid, pyramid

2010-05-19T06:49:00.001-07:00

作词:施人诚
作曲:周杰伦
编曲:吴庆隆
林宥嘉-我爱的人
我知道故事不会太曲折
我总会遇见一个什么人
陪我过没有了她的人生
成家立业之类的等等
她做了她觉得对的选择
我只好祝福她真的对了
爱不到我最想要爱的人
谁还能要我怎样呢
我爱的人不是我的爱人
她心里每一寸都属于另一个人
她真幸福幸福得真残忍
让我又爱又恨她的爱怎么那么深
我爱的人她已有了爱人
从他们的眼神说明了我不可能
每当听见她或他说“我们”
就像听见爱情永恒的嘲笑声

WOOO THIS SONG ROCKS X3

2010-05-17T17:27:00.000-07:00

Misunderstanding . :) sorry. I love you . :)

2010-05-15T21:31:00.000-07:00

16th may

met up with jj, emi, jill , twins and angela to go eat steamboat at china town tgr.

yummms! damnn yummy their food lors .

their service and facilities are good too.

the staff is damn nice, still specially came all the way to chinatown point to fetch us to go there, because we dunno how to go there.
:D

and DAMNN funny.

me and chels dunno how to go to the steamboat place.

then chels said the moment we turned behind , we will just ask the first person that we see.

THEN we turned behind and saw one ah ma, then we burst out laughing and can't stop laughing

then chelsea keep laughing and ask the ah ma when shes still laughing ROFL

i think the ah ma think chelsea is mad ROFL then keep looking at chels as she keep laughing ROFL like very offensive :X

THEN chels said i am very heartless cuz i stood at one corner and laughed till very shuang while shes laughing but still need to ask the ah ma for directions ROFL

then chels din finish her sentence because she cant stand it and just go to the corner with me and burst out laughing ROFL

I THINK THE AH MA MUST HAVE THINK THAT CHELSEA IS NUTS ROFL cuz chels just abruptly went off without finishing her sentence and keep laughing non stop while talking ROFL

anyway the steamboat damn nice!!

hehehe. next time should go there and eat with friends!! :D the price is affordable too. hehehe. wide variety of food. X)

then went to clarke quay and chit chat with clique then played BANG.

rofl.

then we keep TAKING PIX ROFL we're like tourists everytime we go out. LOL.

I LOVE CLIQUE! gonna meet them up in this coming sat for shrek movie. HHEHEHEHE.

MEET UP WITH YOU ALL SOON! MUACKS!

BTW JJ EMI AND TWINS QUICK UPLOAD THE PIX!!!!

pixpix!

MORE PIX TO BE UPLOADED XD