12/8/11

Friday

Just after the day of our 1 year and 4 months anniversary.




I've always thought we would be together forever.

Haha. I am so naive.

I was being dumped. When all along I've been trying so hard , and giving in my all for this r/s. To know that I'm not loved anymore at the end of the day.

Trying so hard, what are the consequences?

Result? Dumped.
Memories? Stayed.
Feelings? Stayed and became stronger.
Heart? Broken.
Mind? Can't do anything. (Worse, my main exams is coming.)
SMSes? Can't bear to delete.
Photos? Can't bear to delete.
Contact? Can't bear to delete.

My mummy said never drop a single tear for any man, and say this will be the last time i will be weeping for a man. and she says there is no need to think about him.

I was like, "mummy, do you think it is so easy to do that?!"

Everywhere I go , walked, bathed, studying, home, eating... I will be reminded of you. The deja vu will keeps coming back. Everything reminds me of you. I just have to bring at least 2 packets tissues out for today and yesterday . I kept on crying non-stop and people just keeps staring at me. But i really can't control it.

You passed to me the book of diary on the day we broke up.

I went home to read it.

Inside was EVERYDAY records of me and you. Events, activities, feelings, etc .. all were recorded inside. That was for our 1st anniversary present. Yet i received it on the day we broke up. This makes me harder to let you go. Reading all these stuff made me touched and I just kept on weeping while reading every page.

I am like a living crying zombie. It's just too miserable , too painful, too hurt, too disappointed. What sucks the most is I still love you so much. Yet you chose to let go of me, let go of our r/s.

And it's not 1 day or 2 day of relationship, it's 16 months, 1 year and 4 months of relationship. How to get used of not having your presence and contact?

It will take me years to forget you and bury our memories in my heart. Years .........